As I was walking down to the mailbox this morning, a neighbor starting up his truck elicited shock gobbles from two different toms skulking around the neighborhood. It won't be long before the crazy, lovesick bastards will once again be attacking the sliding glass door on the back porch, strutting endlessly in the yard, crapping everywhere and generally making a damn nuisance of themselves.

That and $3.50 a gallon gas is almost enough to make a guy forget travel plans and instead just stay home for turkey season. Gobble, gobble...