Never let it be said that the Underground turns a blind eye to the plight of steelheaders those struggling with addiction, which is why we’ve chosen to courageously publicize perhaps the Most Important Press Release We’ve Ever Received:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 24th, 2012 – Doron Ofir Casting, (Millionaire Matchmaker, My Strange Addiction, Jersey Shore) officially confirms and announces for the first time ever, real people struggling with addiction will have the opportunity to take part in a revolutionary and groundbreaking documentary series chronicling the emotional and physical struggles of addiction—“REHAB with DR. DREW”.

Participants will be given a once in a lifetime opportunity to enroll in a no-cost, 30-day treatment program to begin the process of breaking free from the bonds of addiction and take their first steps down the road to recovery.

VH1, in association with Irwin Entertainment and Doron Ofir Casting, is currently searching for those struggling with substance addiction but not ready to give up hope.

“If you are ready to fight to take your life back into your own hands, I’m hoping to find you! Instead of giving in, make a change and seek the help you need. I want your story and why you need the help. Your story can be someone else’s hope.” Doron Ofir, Executive Casting Director

Realize that recovery can become your reality.

Please apply online at http://www.rehabcasting.com

Wow. Who knew there existed a reality tv-based cure for addiction?

Of course, we’re 100% sure the casting of this wholly non-sensationalistic show won’t be biased towards those with the ability to fill a C-cup, so all you fly fishermen — who as a group tend to peg the rattiness meter — should apply right away.

Make sure to tell them you’re not only addicted to fly fishing, but have developed a Spey craving that has cost you several relationships.

With the coastal rivers running either dry or muddy brown as of late, you can also truthfully say you’re hitting rock bottom.

Even as I write this, I am dabbing at the tears forming in the corner of my eyes (just like I would were I chosen for this reality series [hint, hint]).

At the Underground, we can’t help but give. You know that about us.

See you in reality TV rehab, Tom Chandler.